Now You Tell Me
by CrimsonZero
Summary: SongFic based of off Jordin Spark's "Now You Tell Me." Atemu realizes that he has feelings for Anzu. Problem is, she doesn't feel the same way anymore. Or does she?


**NOW YOU TELL ME**

Disclaimer: I do not, no matter how many fics I'll write in the future, own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything related to it. This song is sung by Jordin Sparks. And yes, you guessed it, I don't own this song either.

After the Ceremonial Duel, Atemu gets his own body. He realizes, too late, that he loves Anzu. However, she has already moved on. Or has she?

* * *

"Anzu!" Footsteps, faint but there. "Anzu!" They're becoming louder now. I sigh and turn around to face the source of that deep baritone voice calling my name. I shake my head in exasperation. It had been two months since Atemu had gained his own body, after choosing to live in this era. It had also been two months since I told him I loved him.  
And was horribly shot down.  
Sure, I cried, I bitched, I couldn't eat for a few days. But I realized that there are many more fish in the sea that are probably more deserving of what I have to offer. So I got over my sorry self and started focusing on the things that really mattered. School, since I had missed a great of deal of it during the whole saving-the-world ordeal, and dancing. I immersed myself into the latter, practicing everyday to improve my form. I never went to sleep without a few sore muscles.  
I felt better after a few weeks, to the point where I could actually face him without feeling embarrassed. Like now, for instance. In fact, I'm more annoyed than anything. I give him a glare as he finally catches up to me.  
"Anzu," he says, panting, "I apologize for being late but Jounouchi required my attention."  
"Uh huh," I reply, curtly. "You _do_ know you're an hour late, right?" I tapped my watch in frustration.  
"Yes, and again, I apologize, but other matters—"  
"There you go again, Atemu!" I cut him off. "You're always putting other things before me! Do you think I will stand for being just second best? I already know I'm not in your damn top priority list but do you have to rub it in? I thought we were friends but lately, I seem more of an inconvenience." And to think, he was the one who asked to meet me in the first place!  
"Anzu," he meekly says, bowing his head down.  
What's this? The great Atemu being sheepish? Almost apologetic?  
"Anzu," he tries again, "I really am sorry but please listen to what I have to say." He lifts his head to look at me. His amethyst against my cerulean. I look into the eyes that used to drown my soul. I could get lost inside those big, beautiful, piercing orbs. When angered, those eyes can cut anyone in half. But I have once seen sadness upon them, concern, a warmness that used to fire up my heart.  
And now, they held anxiety and a desperate need. For what, I don't know.  
I give myself a mental slap. Cool it, Mazaki. This is no time to be sinking into his eyes. I'm over that, remember?  
"Okay, Atemu," I soften my gaze. "I'm all ears."  
He opens his mouth so speak but close it. I sense his hesitation and I can't help but worry. It's not like him to be so tentative. His eyes reflect fear now, mixing in with apprehension.

_Is there anything that can make you happy?  
__I don't know what to say to make it better_

I place my hand on his shoulder to silently encourage him. I don't know what to say at this point. I have never seen him so nervous, so _frightened_. It reminds me of the time when we lost Yuugi to the Orichalcos. He just seems so helpless.  
"Atemu," I say, "we're friends, right? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to chastise you earlier. I was pissed off. You know I hate waiting. Come on. You can tell me anything."

_Seeing you like this, down and hurt so badly  
__When you have been so kept together_

All the years that I've known him, I was accustomed to his confidence, his swagger. Every move he made was so calculated. In any situation, he had always kept his cool. I seldom saw him snap at anyone. His movements were always full of grace, I sometimes had the impression that he walked on air. To see him like this is almost heartbreaking.  
This time, I put my hand on his cheek, gently turning his gaze unto me. "Please. What's bothering you?" I smile at him in an attempt to let him know that it's okay. I may not love him anymore but he's still my friend. And I worry about my friends. Maybe a tad too much.  
What happens next surprises me. He pulls me into a tight embrace, his face in the crook of my neck. He breathes my name in that silky voice of his. I shudder as my heart beats faster. Damn hormones.  
"A-Atemu," I stutter, "are you okay? You're worrying me."  
"I'm sorry," he whispers against my neck. "I know I've been distancing myself from you lately. I just… I needed space. When you told me your feelings, I was afraid. Afraid of what I felt for you. Afraid that I would drown in my feelings for you."  
He pulls away and cups my face into his hands. It takes all I am to meet his gaze. He was bringing up moments I would rather not remember. Like confessing my feelings.  
"I watched you in the days that followed," he continues, his eyes penetrating mine. "I saw that you were happy. I saw that you could live without me. I saw you smile, your beautiful, radiant smile. And I realized that I wanted to be the reason for your smile. I wanted your smile, I needed your smile. And you. All of you."

_What's this?  
__All this time I thought you didn't need me  
__Now I've gone from you and now you tell me_

I look at him in shock. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. In broken sentences, no less. Was he, essentially, saying that he has feelings for me? Now? I shut my eyes as I couldn't stand to see his, afraid that I would drown again.  
"I love you, Anzu, and I'm sorry that it took so long for me to realize this." No. No, no, no. "You had always been there, standing by my side, giving me your strength." Please, don't. I'm over this. I'm _over_ this. "Anzu, look at me."  
I open my eyes and, immediately, I am drawn again into his eyes. This time, they reflect kindness and warmth. And love.

_You're in love, but that's not what it was  
__All those times that passed by with no signs_

"Damn it, Atemu," I murmur. I look down at the ground. "It's too late, don't you see? I don't feel the same way anymore. When I told you how I felt, you burned me, saying that you couldn't see me past a friend. You didn't even _give me a chance_. I thought about it and you were right. All those times we were together, fought side by side, we were just friends, comrades. I know, now, that there was no time for romance then. And I'm over it. I've moved on."

_And now you're telling me  
__You miss me, boy why couldn't I see?_

Memories flash before my eyes as I recall our adventures. You had always protected me. My young, naïve mind saw it as an act of love. Now I know you would have done, and did, the same for everyone else. Acts of friendship, nothing more.

_And my heart don't agree with what you're telling me_

"You say you love me, Atemu," I continue, "but I never saw it."

_You were nonchalant, strong, and unaffected  
__And you never wanted me to be there_

His confidence was what drawn me to him. He was so different from the young man whose body he used to share. He was a man of mystery and I used to want to unravel them all until I found the real person underneath. And damn it to hell, I tried. I stood by his side as we worked to uncover his past. But he never noticed, he never saw the tears I used to cry because I cared so much. Even when he tried to push me away when Yuugi's soul was captured, I stayed. He paid attention to me then but only because it was convenient. For when we got Yuugi back, I was, once again, pushed to the side.

_I never saw your heart, that's how close you kept it  
__So right now I'm so unsure how to care_

I see the compassion he has for Yuugi, for the rest of us, I guess. I can see what he thinks and I understood his point of view for most things. But those were things only skin deep. Wrapped up in his shroud of ambiguity, I never saw what was in his heart. I couldn't see his feelings. Even now, after all these years, I still feel like I hardly know him.  
"I know," he answers. "I have always been closed off. But you opened me up. You awoke feelings in me I thought I had forgotten. I love you. I think I always have but never recognized it. Despite that, I took advantage of you. I knew you were loyal to me, to Yuugi, and I had always counted on you to be there. And you were. I need you, just as I did back then. When I saw that you were capable of being happy without me, I was relieved. I never meant to be the cause of any unhappiness you may feel." You take my hand and place it against your chest. "But, there was a pang of sadness right here. I didn't want to be without you. I want you near me, always."

_What's this?  
__All this time I thought you didn't need me  
__Now I've gone from you and now you tell me_

I close my eyes again. "But it's too late, Atemu. I found my own happiness. You should, too."

_You're in love, but that's not what it was  
__All those times that passed by with no signs_

"I don't believe you for a second." I snap my eyes open. He grabs my shoulders. "Look at me and tell me you don't feel anything. Stare me straight in the eyes and tell me you have buried your feelings."  
I stare into the eyes that are threatening to ensnare me. I remember the dangers we've faced and the laughter we shared. I try to remind myself that it was all in an act of friendship, not of love.

_And now you're telling me  
__You miss me, boy why couldn't I see?_

"I…" I can't do it. Even if it was just friendship between us back then, each moment was special to me. _He_ was special to me. Every memory we made was ours and I cherished them. I still do. And now, each memory was threatening to dredge up past feelings I thought were forgotten.  
"Can't do it, can you?" He releases my shoulders and gives me that familiar, cocky smirk.

_And my heart don't agree with what you're telling me_

"Damn you, "I snarl. "Fine. I do admit, I feel something. But it's not love. That I know for sure." I cross my arms and avoid his penetrating gaze. I soften my tone. "What we shared together was precious. But so are my memories with the others. The same goes for you. It's not love for you, Atemu. It's friendship that you feel. Gratitude. I don't know. But it's not love."  
"Then why does my heart ache for you? Why is it that whenever I think about you, my feelings are amplified? And why is it," you turn my head so I can meet your gaze, "you still cannot look me in the eye when you claim you do not love me?"

_You're in love, but that's not what it was  
__All those times that passed by with no signs_

No. I can't fall again. It took so long to get back up, I can't fall down now. Did I really miss all the signs? When we battled against evil, was it also for love?

_And now you're telling me  
__You miss me, boy why couldn't I see?_

You said you were watching me after I had told you I loved you. How could I ever miss that? Was I really so caught up in pushing aside my feelings that I failed to see that you were trying to recognize yours?

_And my heart don't agree with what you're telling me_

I shake my head. "It's too late, damnit."  
"Why?" he asks.

_No attention was given  
__No affection from you to heal the hurt  
__I was hoping  
__I was wishing  
__Just to listen and to hear those words_

"Because you never saw how much I hurt for you," I reply. "All you saw was your own pain. You never recognized me as someone special enough for you."  
"Anzu," you whisper, pulling me into another embrace. Your arms encircle my waist. "I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry I made you feel this way." Damnit. Damnit to hell. "What can I do to make it up to you? Tell me how to prove my love to you."

_You're in love, but that's not what it was  
__All those times that passed by with no signs_

I feel your breath on my skin, like wildfire. I can feel the tenderness in your arms as you hold me. Why? The feelings I thought had died are now rushing back to me, leaving me soft and vulnerable. But the past… I squeeze my eyes shut. No. The past doesn't matter here. It's all about the here-and-now. That was what we fought for, right?

_And now you're telling me  
__You miss me, boy why couldn't I see?_

I softly chuckle, realizing that I never really got over you. If I did, then I wouldn't feel this conflicted. All I succeeded in doing was avoiding loving you. You aren't the only one who's afraid of drowning. But I have to make the first step. So I raise my arms and hug you back. I feel your shoulders stiffen in surprise but quickly relax as you pull me closer.  
I sigh. "Oh, Atemu. You don't have to prove anything. I was the one who couldn't see what you've been trying to tell me all this time." I pull away so that we're now face to face. "Bloody hell of is, I love you, too. Always have."

* * *

If you listen to the song, it doesn't end here. I only did it for the sake of having the story make sense. I know it's awkwardly written and probably not the song you'd choose for a romance. But here it is.

Read and review, guys. Thanks for reading.


End file.
